May 30th, 2017

Things have gone downhill. On Sunday, my sister and I went to the pool. It was fun, but I was feeling cramped by being in public too long, so I convinced her to leave. She, of course, didn't like that, so she texted our parents in a fit. My dad got angry, and once we were all home, he grabbed me by the hair, yanked me off the couch and onto the ground, and struck me in the face multiple times, knocking me down before yelling at me to "get up". He also called me selfish and demanded I pay him back the twenty dollars we spent at the pool. Afterward he of course apologized but kept my phone from me, which of course he's still doing, so I have nothing.

I've been crying a lot this past weekend. I use my phone to talk to the people I call family and it's one of the only ways I can do so.

May 11th, 2017

Things have been low for a while but they're beginning to look up. Three days ago, a hate account was made of me on Instagram. It was private, so I have no idea if they made any posts, but I'm fairly sure they haven't. They messaged me, harassing me by demanding I stopped whining about mental issues in my posts, and argued with me for a while. It didn't scare me, though, and I eventually found out who it was: someone I'd considered a friend. To this day she refuses to admit that the account is hers, but there's enough evidence against her that I know for sure it's her.

Also, my mom came to me yesterday and told me she's officially signing me up for therapy. Next week I'm meeting with the high school's counselor and getting a bit comfortable with her, then for the summer I'm going to Salem for counseling. I go back with the high school's counselor once the school year starts up. I'm really excited, because I'm finally getting help and figuring out what I have.

I've had more trust issues since everything, but I'm easing back into life as it was before. I'm ready to open up, and get help at last. I'm ready to face the world head-on.

May 2nd, 2017

Today isn't that eventful so far, but I'm still in a great mood. I mailed my one-month anniversary gift to Becca yesterday, and everything seems to be in order so far. Only eight days until we receive each other's gifts, and I'm quite excited. I've never really gotten gifts before, so  it's an exciting thing to me.

My parents have been fighting on the daily now. I'm never even quite sure what the fights are about, anymore. They seem to be about nothing, honestly. I fear these fights will explode to more and break my family apart, and that's something I don't want.

I've been really looking forward to moving out and heading to Portland with Becca, as well as meeting my online friends. I've loved you all for the longest time and I'm ready to see you in person.

I apologize if I seem far more polite though sad on this blog; I don't even know why I act so differently here. I promise I'm a lot more happy, excitable, and stuff in real life!